Bullheaded

by DEROSNEC

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  • T-Shirt/Apparel

    A limited edition charcoal gray t shirt featuring the censored bull skull logo.

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1.
03:03
2.
04:11
3.
04:04
4.
03:55
5.
6.
02:51
7.
8.
03:40
9.
04:13
10.
11.
04:41

credits

released 05 August 2012

All songs were written and performed by Nina Helene Hirten (Derosnec) except: "A Criminal Mind" was written by Lawrence Gowan and performed by Nina Helene Hirten and Erica "Unwoman" Mulkey. Mastered by Phil Demetro at Lacquer Channel mastering, Toronto.

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about

DEROSNEC Vancouver, British Columbia

DEROSNEC is the multimedia audiovisual project of Nina Helene Hirten. With her unusually low voice and wide operatic vocal range, she makes music that pulls from many genres to create a moody and fresh sound. Her lyrics range from politics and philosophy to her own experience and feelings, and are unusually straightforward while being simultaneously laced with double meanings and word play. ... more

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Track Name: Boring
Childlike yearning
Constant burning

Childlike lying
Constant sighing

I know that you must feel betrayed
But I am the beast that you made
If I had just gone and obeyed
Then I would have died and decayed

Childlike crying
Constant sighing

(Wake up)
From your dream
(Watch out)
And you will scream…

Lost in a fake delusion, got to get out of this state
You hurt all those around you though you think you’re so great
Stuck in hypocrisy I wouldn’t want to be you
Thank gods I got out when I did because I would have been screwed

You’re like a child

Pouting, sighing
You’re so boring
Track Name: .com
Turned on by a glowing screen
This is what your life now means
All your words are on display
You are what you say today

Click click click eraser tool
you must take me for a fool
(add me, add you)
Just because your life's online
doesn't make it worth my time
(add me, add you)
This way you will never feel
trade it all for something real
(add me, add you)
Who are you?

Defined by the theme you choose
anonymous can never lose
It doesn't matter if it's true
You can make them all love you

Click click click eraser tool
you must take me for a fool
(add me, add you)
Just because your life's online
doesn't make it worth my time
(add me, add you)
This way you will never feel
trade it all for something real
(add me, add you)
Who are you?

Faceless friends from distant lands
Never will they find you bland
Journal how your life's unfair
Maybe then someone might care
Track Name: Stalker
I can’t believe that you still harass me
I’d think that time would maybe make you see
It’s obvious that you have not moved on
What will it take for me to make you gone?

I never meant for us to not be friends
It’s all on you, you chose for it to end
And now you won’t leave, just give me some peace
You must know when it is time to release

Just when I think it’s over
You come a knockin’

You told me lies, you treat me like a dog
In your machine I turned into a cog
In retrospect there was no such thing as me
Now I’m alive, no thanks to your decrees

It’s almost like any good I did was lost
I wish I knew that to be your friend it’d cost
My right to be emotionally free
A waste of time was what it came to be

Just when I think it’s over
You come a knockin’

Leave me alone, I have done nothing wrong
Leave me alone, obsession don’t belong
Leave me alone, your life has more than me
Leave me alone, is that so hard to see?

Just when I think it’s over
You come a knockin’
Track Name: Beautiful
What I feel
Is nothing like
I am

Ego wins
And trembles like
a lamb

Raining tears of my old past life
Nothing left nowhere to run
Here I pray for strength to push me
Only I can point that gun
Fountain of hate flows right through me
Transformation has begun
Will I find that power in mr
Inner fear is never done

Sick with sweat
I push ahead
and climb

Fear inside
To go beyond
This time

Raining tears of my old past life
Nothing left nowhere to run
Here I pray for strength to push me
Only I can point that gun
Fountain of hate flows right through me
Transformation has begun
Will I find that power in mr
Inner fear is never done
All I want is something beautiful
That I can feel within
All I want is something beautiful
Comfort in my skin

Ice blue eyes
The only eyes
I see through

Take my life
I give it all
To you.
Track Name: The Art of War
I wanna thank all
each and every one of you
you give me fuel I need

All those years of abuse
that you gave to me
I draw from it excessively

True change won't come
just from a flame
it comes from ashes

(My enemies will burn)

Every little word
that so affected me
now lives inside my memory

Hearing dirty lies and rumours
gives me
the strength to see

There is no taste quite like revenge
if it's done nicely

(My enemies will burn)

Remember how it used to be
I cried alone each night
I vowed that I would make things right
by getting your attention

I'll make sure that you notice me
cuz I'm not lazy
But still you'll never ever see
how much you hurt me

I'll show them all a different me
Track Name: BreatHER
A bed of red, I walk through silently
A birdlike breath in the air
Tiptoe through, you caught sight of me
Like a mouse in your lair

There’s something growing deep in side of me
I wish I knew what it was
It has to do with when I look at you
I wish I knew what it does

Swirling, moving, I know one thing
Softer, deeper, wanna be her
Touching, feeling all her breathing
Harder, lower, don’t you leave her

A burning bush screams out silently
Smoke erupts in the air
There is a fire that takes a hold of me
Consuming my feet and hair
In my soul I have come to know
That there I more in this life
Now thanks to you, I know it’s possible
There is no fear in our sight
Track Name: Population NA
You’re so frustrated
Manipulated
It’s complicated
There is no easy cure
You don’t need them
So you condemn
Enough, I am
At least you thought you were

I wanted it to end
And so I tried to send
All those that didn’t bend
Or know real life
They drove me all insane
And I could not contain
The anger in my brain
So I just said no
I found it was no fun
To push away everyone
The clouds have blocked the sun
And it’s all unknown
And please let me be clear
I did this out of fear
And now there’s no one here
I’m all alone

I thought it’d be success
I’d drown in it’s excess
And then they’ll think I’m blessed
That was my plan
Remove them from the wall
You don’t need them at all
I don’t want them to call
So it began
And once they go away
I’ll never have to say
Would you please care to stay
When I know they don’t
But now I want them back
Even with their stupid flack
Even though they will attack
And I pray they won’t

You’re so frustrated
Manipulated
It’s complicated
There is no easy cure
So you need them
But you condemned
Not enough, I am
You knew you never were
You hate their reasons
You hate their bullshit
You hate their intellect
And their delusions
You wish they’d grow up
That they’d reciprocate
And then you realize
It’s an illusion
Track Name: Tagalong
My body is forever covered
with empty friends
Reminders that they all would
only pretend

Can I come into your space
it seems so guarded
I wish that you would
let me inside

if you want to
tagalong
you will never
be alone

I am the shadow by your sides
Until my loneliness subsides

All I ever do is stay behind
friends are something that I
never will find

If you want to
tagalong
You will never
be alone

I am the shadow by your sides
until my loneliness subsides
If you could put a price on me
it would be lower than money
I know it makes a fool of me
my head feels trapped although I'm free
Track Name: Ex(or)cise
I run far
far into eternity
nothing
nothing can stop
I'm tearing every thing out from inside of me
Those demons won't forget me

They'd never dare to say goodbye
They just insist to haunt me
I'll never live, I'll never die
I'll be reborn in flames
I had to dig so I could get it out of me
but nothing comes easy

Be gone you ghosts deep within my past
(There is nothing left in here
now I know I have to choose)
No one, it's only me
(only me only me only me only me)
I can't say, I won't try anyway
but I find that my patience runs away
crashing through the barriers
chasing after memories
I can't breathe
I can't breathe, no!

I feel like
there is no escape for me
there is no way to be free
Cut deep and let it flow away from me
red rivers flow through black trees

No screams of pain rush past my ears
they fade away so softly
but once they've gone they come right back
forever within me
I can't take these voices
tearing through my brain
nothing prepared me

Be gone you ghosts deep within my past
(There is nothing left in here
now I know I have to choose)
No one, it's only me
(only me only me only me only me)
I can't say, I won't try anyway
but I find that my patience runs away
crashing through the barriers
chasing after memories
I can't breathe
I can't breathe, no!
Track Name: A Criminal Mind (feat. Unwoman)
You see my hands are steady
You’ve seen my face before
Soon you can take your last look
And they’ll close the door

I stand accused before you
I have no tears to cry
And you will never break me
Till the day I die

A criminal mind is all I
All I’ve ever known
they tried to reform me
but I’m made of cold stone
My criminal mind is all I
all I’ve ever had
Ask one who’s known me
If I’m really so bad
I am

I’ve spent my life behind these steel bars
I’ve paid my debt in time
But being brought to justice
that was my only crime

I don’t regret a single action
I’d do the same again
These prison walls secure me
And I’m numb to pain

My criminal mind is all I
all I’ve ever had
Ask one who’s known me
If I’m really so bad
I am

I’m made of cold stone
just like these prison walls
My criminal mind
Is all I’ve ever known

Before you hand me over
before you read my sentence
I’d like to say a few words
here in my own defense

Some people struggle daily
they struggle with their conscience
till the end
I have no guilt to haunt me
I feel no wrong intent

A criminal mind is all I
All I’ve ever known
they tried to reform me
but I’m made of cold stone
My criminal mind is all I
all I’ve ever had Ask one who’s known me
If I’m really so bad
I am
Track Name: Nothing
Ocean tides call breaking winds that sing to me
Raven flies and calls my name respectfully

Violet burns into my eyes
breaking through the grass’ sighs
from knowing

That spirits are in everything
There is nothing I can bring
Worth sowing

I am nothing.

I walk among the truths in forms of towering trees
Their eyes bore into me and view what no one sees.

I am nothing.